All Our God IV @smokeybrandreviews - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag (2024)

Crisis at the Borderlands

Borderlands was always going to be terrible. In order for that film to be a thing, it needed a hard R rating and there was no way 2K was going to let that happen. Leave money on the table by alienating the children audience? For shame! I’m not a looter shooter guy so I never played the Borderlands games, but I am aware of most of that world’s lore. I understood, pretty early on, that this thing was definitely going to get a film adaption and the only way to do it, was to lean heavy in the absurdity of it all. I’m talking Guardians of the Galaxy meets Deadpool. You need the crass vulgarity and over-the-top gore in order to properly realize Pandora in real time. Eli Roth is good at that. It’s an odd thing to see because it’s almost as if they were shooting for Guardians and landed on the first Suicide Squad, when the second one was right there as the blueprint. I wouldn’t be surprised if this thing was shot for the R and edited around the PG-13, which would mean there are SWATHS of this film on the cutting room floor. I haven’t seen it and don’t really plan to but I hear there is a pretty great film in to be seen, if you can cut through the mire of mediocrity. A pretty common critique floating around is that Borderlands is simultaneously the most expensive and cheapest looking film you will ever see. All of that ambition, all of that6 potential, all of that budget, lost in the wind. This thing cost a hundred million to make, and had an eight million opening weekend. Hard pass, all across the demos. Who was this movie for? Where did all that money go? I can tell you where a big chunk of it went; The cast.

The worst thing about this film, and the one thing I absolutely knew was going to tank it, was the cast. When I saw Cate Blanchett in that horrendous wig, I knew this film was doomed. Never mind about the atrocious green screen, why the f*ck did you cast Blanchett, a damn near sixty year old woman, in the role of Lilith, a Siren who is very much not that? No shade to Blanchett, she is gorgeous and one of my favorite actresses working today with a range to be envied by anyone, but this was not the look, chief. Jamie Lee Curtis is an even more egregious miss as Dr. Tannis. Just, how? How do you look at Patricia’s model and see a sixty-five year old woman? How do you get Kevin Heart and nor, say, Terry Cruz for Roland? I mean, they nailed Tiny Tina and Mad Moxxi and I’ll even give them Jack Black as Claptrap, but your leads are all wrong. And, more to the point, expensive. Cate and Jaime are Oscar winners, which immediately jacks their rates through the roof. Blanchett is known to do her thing in the geeky pool, no one will come close to her Hela, but Curtis has a disdain for that type of stuff. Her rancor over Marvel proved that much but, her willingness to pop into the One Piece adaption is pretty chill. Either way, you’re paying top dollar for those two and Hart ain’t showing up for less than ten million on any project. Those three right there probably account for a quarter of the budget, if not more. And they’re all miscast! It’s nuts! Sh*t smacks of Corpo panic induced by microtransaction greed. Considering this is 2K we’re talking about, I wouldn’t be surprised.

It’s nuts to me because you could have cast younger, less expensive stars, gave it the R rating it need to thrive, and made this movie for substantially less risk. Someone like a Vanessa Kirby would have been dope as Tannis and I can’t unsee Samara Weaving trouncing about as Lilith. Both of them are excellent actresses, both of them have a solid fan base, and both of them are cheap. I already tapped Cruz for Roland and you can throw the most money David Eddings has ever seen, his way and have him voice Claptrap in the film, giving an organic tie to the games, and allow the rest of that budget for scripting and world building. That’s the strength of those games, the world around those characters, Obviously, develop relationships and make them compelling because no one cares about a journey if the characters aren’t solid but it’s the world around them which drives a lot of that pathos. There is heart in those Guardians films but you’re nuts if you think traversing across space and interacting with alien civilizations didn’t go a long way to bolstering that endearment to those films. Ivan totally see a neon drenched, kinetic ass violence streak, chock full off heartwarming character moments and saturated in CG blood splatter, absolutely killing a January to mid-March box office. There’s no way, especially after the reception to that initial trailer, you release this thing after Deadpool and Wolverine drops. That movie was going to kill, regardless of quality, because it’s the swan song to Fox-Marvel. That was their Endgame. You’re not stopping that momentum as proven by the fact the entire thing has leaked online and the f*cker is still doing numbers in the box office. Corpos are dumb. Avi Arad got his name on this was a huge red flag and guess what? He’s delivered another turd. Bless him for nurturing Marvel in the beginning but it’s readily apparent he needs to step aside. He’s too old school for his own good and just delivered a tepid reminder of what video game adaptions used to be, but without anything to redeem all of the horrible choices made.

Stay Out the Kitchen

I am absolutely captivated by what Larian has created with Baldur’s Gate 3. Just, flat-out, dumbfounded by what this smallish studio was able to do with seven years and pure passion for the project. Now, I am aware that Larian is not a small studio. They have several hits under their belt and enough clout to wrest the DnD license away from the notoriously stingy Wizards of the Coast, but let’s be real; They ain’t EA. Larian took one hundred million dollars, and developed a whole ass masterpiece. I’ve not been so enamored with a game since the first time I played Mass Effect 2. Literally the same emotions. I can see myself putting thousands of hours into this world, that’s how deep it is. That’s how fun it is to play. That’s how rich these characters are. I love Karlach as much as I love Tali and that sh*t is a lot. Like, a lot-a lot. You have to be at the top of your game in terms of writing and performance to deliver such an emotional resonance with my jaded ass. I legitimately care about these characters and the lives they lead, lives I control to a certain extent. All of this out of a studio with no shareholder backing or corporate f*ckery. That’s why Larian is bowing out of BG4, WotC and Hasbro want to go about with their f*ckery. Larian, the little studio that could, dropped the best game of last year, and when the Brinks truck rolled up with the Corpo notes, they said “No”. They get to keep their creative soul and develop whatever projects they want, all because Larian turned down that blood money. Which is why I’m so f*cking concerned about Dragon Age: The Veilguard.

I mentioned Mass Effect 2 being one of the quintessential moments in my gaming life. That’s very true. At the time, Bioware had delivered unto me the best Star Wars game, ever, in the form of Knights of the Old Republic. On the strength of Lord Revan's Misadventures, I was hooked on whatever this studio decided to do next. Interestingly enough, that was their BG3. KotOR killed and, when Lucasarts came a knocking for a sequel, Bioware gave them the hard passed, instead starting work on Mass Effect. Some years later, before EA got their blood money into them, they dropped Dragon Age: Origins and, I think, Dragon Age 2? I own both of those games, beat them both, but I didn’t care about the franchise until Inquisition. The first, full EA tainted Dragon Age title. I played the hell out of it but never felt fulfilled. This listlessness got me to revisit those older games and, for my tastes, they are better. In terms of narrative and overall plot, they are far superior. That said, DA: I does a better job of pathos and character development. I mean, it doesn’t, I just really like romancing Cassandra. She’s adorable. In all honesty, though, Dragon Age: Inquisition is kind of tedious to play. The open world format could be overwhelming at times and you can easily miss essential sh*t mad easy. There are laughable difficulty spikes just randomly on maps. The f*cking Giants just strolling around on any stage will absolutely wreck your sh*t until you are stupidly over leveled for the area. My biggest gripe, though? Corypheus. As a main antagonist, he’s a nothingburger and really drags the game down. Ultimately, I like playing DA: I. I have hundreds of hours in that game. It’s not as good as the first two and a lot of that has to do with EA ruining Bioware for a decade, which is why I am sweating bullets about Veilguard.

From what I’ve heard, what I’ve seen in those trailers, DA: V looks fun. “Looks” is a kind of a misnomer in terms of actual visuals because, while I got over it fairly quickly, the fandom has denounced the art direction of this game. Cries of “Fortnite” have rang through the troves fans and they’re right. This game looks nothing like its predecessors, nothing like a Dark Fantasy title should, and it’s leaving so much to be desired. Those who have gotten a hands-on with it say the combat is mad deep and delivers unexpected mechanics to exploit but I am weary. EA is pretty much tightening the noose around Bioware with this goofy ass title which had to restart production in the middle of development, twice. Once, because EA finally laid to rest the Frostbite engine mandate, and another to literally retool the entire narrative. This game started out as Dragon Age: Dread Wolf and now is something completely different. This isn’t the game we were promised. It’s an entirely new experience, one that has cost, at the very least, a hundred million dollars, and taken a decade to bring to life. And will probably be absolutely terrible in all the places people who play these types of games, will hate. I’ll hold my judgment until I actually play the thing, mostly because I don’t want Bioware to get nixed by EA for bungled sales, but Larian they are not. Too many cooks in the kitchen, and half of them want live services. That means the dish in the oven is going to end up being overcooked and burnt. Larian could never.

It's Our Anniversary

Do you know what today is? It's been a clean minute since I've checked in about the whole FGO thing and, i must say, sh*t is progressing nicely. Azur Lane has had some events, too, finally got a few new Iron Blood ships, but I'll touch on those later. Right now, I'm mildly obsessed with my Fate situation and i kind of want to gush about it a little bit. Last time i updated, i had just popped my Jaques de Molay on a whim. that was a hell of a run but there have been gains since then. Gains that i feel compelled to gush over.

The Grind

Mordred is another step closer to perfection. Anther step closer to where she was when i lost her the first time. The Seventh Anni event is happening and, if you have thirty pay quarts, you can use them to summon a guaranteed Five-Star from a selection of Servants you choose. I am lousy with Sabers so i just chose Mo on a whim. She popped. A little sad as that meant i missed out on Melusine (she's my white whale now, i guess), Semiramis, and Demon Nobu, but i did add another Noble Phantasm level Mordred, bringing her to level three. I'm one dupe away from where she was last time and two away from perfecting her. I've also maxed out both of her Buster Cards and am about one hundred short on her Quick card. Still a LONG way off from her level growing, i keep getting other Servants worth the Experience cards, but I'll lock into that eventually. I'm so close to finishing Mordred, it's getting me itchy!

The Drought is Over

In literally the last two months since i last updated, i find myself swimming in Five-Star Servants AND they're not f*cking Sabers! I wouldn't complaining if they were but, f*ck, is it hard to diversify in this game in terms of Gold Servants. I ended up throwing a ton of Grails at Four-Stars to kind of shore up the ranks but then the flood gates opened and i ended up with enough Five-Stars to build several Support teams. Sh*t was cash, man. I now have eighteen of these elusive f*ckers, a far cry from the measly nine (four of which were Sabers) when i first started. I have at least one Five-Star for every Main Class except Berserker, two Rulers, a Moon Cancer, and my lone Foreigner. Wish i had an Avenger but I'm good with what is on deck.

Four Star General

I actually have two Avengers, Gorgon and Lobo, they're just Four-Stars. I am absolutely LOUSY with Four-Star Servants. I have thirty-five of the f*cking things and around sixty or so total. I tend to burn anything less than Four-Stars because those cards are generally useless, especially in the late game. That said, the bulk of my army are bolstered Fours. Thirteen of them have been leveled up to ninety, i have Grails to spare, strictly because i needed more firepower and like those characters. Obviously, Barghest and Grey got that treatment the second i added them to my ranks, but so did Yu Meiren and Daikouten. Both of them are underrated as f*ck for their Class. Also, Frankenstein's Monster (her name is actually Eve but cool) because i don't still don't have a Five-Star Berserker yet!

Crimson Moon

I rarely speak on this because i generally enjoy the Fate franchise much more, but i got into the Throne of Heroes through Tsukihime. I was aware of Type-Moon because of Shiki and his doomed romance with Type-Moon, herself. Arcueid is one of my favorite characters in all of the Nasuverse so having an opportunity to add her to my my roster was a no-brainer for me. Obviously, i made a run at that banner, which was dope because i had just been gifted something like two hundred Saint Quartz or some sh*t. It took two thirty-pulls but she popped and i an stoked. Already got her to the third Ascension and currently grinding for Experience cards. I'm tempted to try a dupe run at her banner but i kind of don't want to waste anymore Quartz at the moment. Still, two rolls for a Five-Star off a banner is pretty dope.

Picnic Panic

I was also able to Max Limit my Chaldea Lunchtime Craft Essence. This anniversary celebration just showered me with sh*t i could use to bolster my entire situation. I ended up with a couple extra thousand Mana Prisms and immediately cashed those out. I only had two Lunchtimes left to get and had been putting it off because i wouldn't justify the expense. Well, today that cost was worth it because i realized i didn't need to actually level the Craft Essences up AND limit Break them in order to get the bonus. I completely forgot it's just the latter which matters. All five of those f*ckers fused to give me a beautiful ten percent bonus to my Bond Points at the end of battle and i love it. Should put a much needed dent into the slow crawl to Bond level Fifteen. I wish we could do multiple, though. Five max level Lunchtimes would be dope as sh*t!

Back to One

Years ago, way back when FGO first released in the NA territory, those that signed up were gifted Saber Lily on top of your free Four-Star roll. I pulled Lancer Eli but that has nothing to do with anything. Anyway, when i lost my account, it became relatively clear to me that reclaiming Lily was going to be a problem. I only ever saw her on Banners and i wasn't abut to waste Quartz on arguably the weakest Saberface in the game. Still, nostalgia called and i just kind of went about my life, lamenting how stupid it is we still can't link accounts to our Goggle accounts or an email somewhere. That is until i popped her on a Friends Point Summon. I didn't even know you could get Gold Servants out of that welfare dump! It was an unexpected surprise and something else i can cross off my list, even though i had no intentions of earnestly pursuing.

Somebody Save Me

Interestingly enough, the same day i rolled Lily, i was able to get Ruler Jeanne. First and oldest Ruler in the game! Useless to my style of play but still appreciated, nonetheless. Obviously, if i had to choose a Jeanne, I'd want JAlter but, way back when i was a youngin' in the world of Grand Orders, the advertisem*nts did a great job of selling me on the "new" Class. Saber Artoria, Mash, and Ruler Jeanne, were the cover girls of this new game and they were everywhere. Jeanne took a strong position as kind of the selling point for longtime Nasu fans. I think it was the first time we got extended time with the character and Class. Apocrypha was a few weeks from release and, unless you were a total weeb, you had no idea the Apocrypha novels existed. Ruler was brand new and super dope looking. Everyone wanted to have a spin with her. And then Apocrypha came out. I don't remember her reception back then because Mordred existed and i didn't care anymore.

Diamond in the Rough

The current season of anime is coming to an end and, while there were some brilliant gems this go-around, i think i have been the most disappointed by a show, ever, in my entire life and I'm going i turn forty this year. Just, so goddamn upset about not one, but TWO shows. Like, how did they turn out this f*cking terrible? It's mind boggling. However, there was one that reached Frieren level of excellent so i was able to lose myself in that top tier dopeness. So, before we move forward into what i hope is a brilliant adaption of Dandadan and several others, i want to look back in order to give credit where it's due.

The Classic

Kaiju no. 8

Coming off the heals of Madhouse's masterpiece, Sousou no Frieren, Production IG delivered unto us Kaiju no. 8. It matched the pure dazzle of Frieren in every way. The character work, the performances, the narrative, the sound design; All of it! Kaiju no. 8 is f*cking dope. It's as close to a perfect anime as you can get. The only issue i have is the fact i gotta wait a year before the next season drops. Lame.

The Great

Go! Go! Loser Ranger

I as looking forward to this one for some time and was not disappointed. I've been a fan of the manga for years so this one getting the adaption nod was a big deal for me. In an age of The Boys, this was perfect to catch that deconstruction wave. You can tell this one was given full attention by Yostar. It's weird to me that the Azur Lane company can deliver solid anime outside of their gacha properties but, if they keep delivering quality like this, i can get used to that diversification.

Mysterious Disappearances

I did not expect this one to be as good as it was. The manga is solid but the show kind of levels up the narrative on the page. There was a thought of thought put into how to present this show and i think that level of forethought paid of wonderfully. It's nuts to me there isn't more chatter out in the wild about this show. Like, no one i know is talking about it even though it's probably one of the best released so far this year.

The Good

Reincarnated as a Slime III

Listen, this was making the list based on the virtue of it being a continuation of Reincarnated as a Slime. I love this show. I've loved this show since it first dropped. Of course i was going to have a good time with this show. That said, the production has fallen off a cliff. It's nowhere near as gorgeous as it once was. That was disappointing, especially with what's on the horizon. Everything else has been solid. Everything you expect to be great from a Slime entry is there, which is why the dip in animation quality hurts so bad.

The Ugly

The New Gate

I watched three episodes of this and dropped it in the trash where it belongs. The animation is just so hideous. Sh*t is borderline unwatchable.

Chillin' in Another World with Level 2 Super Cheat Powers

This one broke my f*cking heart. If you've followed this blog for a while, you know Chillin' is one of my all-time favorite manga. Learning this thing was getting an adaption sent me through the roof! And then it came out. Bro, this sh*t is so f*cking ugly. The animation is full of errors, none of the fights have any weight, everything is just so floaty, and that frame rate is total ass. It's literally the other side of the spectrum from Kaiju no. 8 and i had SO much more anticipation for Chillin. Another manga i love, butchered to the extreme, for no reason other than lack of funds and absurd deadlines. Bro, just delay and put in the work until it's good!

I Missed You

I've been frustrated with US comics for a few years now. Sh*t has been a barren wasteland of content for some time. Well, i can't say that for the entire industry, mostly the Big Two, but they weight the industry down so much, it's hard not to focus in on them. If the two gods bleed, what does that mean for the lowly mortals, you know? IDW puts out pretty solid Licensed fair, though. Their Power Rangers and Sonic stuff is pretty good. I really loved the Transformers comics they produced until Hasbro wanted a bigger piece of the pie and pulled their rights. Still, Image is doing a pretty great f*cking job with my darling Cybertronians now, so I'm not too mad about it, but i digress. This is more about DC and Marvel and how they've finally decided to get their sh*t together. Even if it's not anything in the main continuity.

Fall of X

Before i delve in to the return of the Ultimate universe, i need to give a nod to the Krakoan Era of X-Men comics. That sh*t was brilliant. It's been a long time since I've given a sh*t about an X-Men comic so, to see how well that sh*t came together, i was stunned. Credit where credit is due, that man John Hickman has a vision! His world building is insane. I've been a pretty big fan of his since his work on Fantastic Four but what he did with the X-Men eclipsed that near completely. The groundwork he laid for others to move forward with, was strong enough to weather editorial nonsense and, eventually, Hickman's premature departure. It'd always the creatives who suffer but, as one of the greatest comic runs come to an end, i mourn it's loss. There seems to have been a bit of X-resurgence lately but it feels like it all started with those House of and Powers of X comics five years ago. That said, i think i am even more in love with what he's doing in the new Ultimate universe.

Return to Glory

I love the Ultimate universe. Mostly. It is a time capsule of tropes and cliches of the day but the idea of it always appealed to me. Apparently, it appealed to Hollywood, too, because the MCU is based HEAVILY on the modern take Ultimate brought to the comics. When they killed it off, i understood why. Ultimate comics had basically ran it's course. There were a lot of mismatched tone and terribly stories at the time. Some were great, Ultimate Spider-Man maintained a decent quality until it's demise (probably why Miles was allowed to survive Secret Wars) but that thing needed to go. Throw out the entire universe, which they did. Well, several years later, Hickman, apparently, sold the Marvel higher ups on a proper reboot with a limited series title Ultimate Invasion. Another 1610 refugee, The Maker, decided to reboot his home universe and, being a Reed Richards not shackled by morality, did just that. Marvel gave Hickman the keys to an entire branch universe, with branding enough to lured in suckers like, and he has not disappointed. yes, it does feel a little "Heroes Reborn" but that can be forgiven because, so far, it's pretty f*cking good.

Along Came a Spider

The initial offering of Ultimate comics consisted of Ultimate Spider-Man, Ultimate Black Panther, and Ultimate X-Men. Obviously, Ultimate Spider-Man is my sh*t. I finally got my Endgame with Pete and MJ plus their two kids. I love this book just because of that but there is so much more to it than JUST that. It's written very well. This one is, more than the others, a character driven drama with occasions spurts of super powered action. It's f*cking brilliant, easily the strongest of the three individual books. Did i mention the art is gorgeous? It has that in common with peach Momoko's take on X-Men.

Turning Japanese

I'm a sucker for manga and anime. A cursory search of this blog will tell you that. My personal style is heavily influenced by Kubo Tite and Toriyama. I stumbled across Peach Momoko LONG ago on an image board somewhere and have been haunting her career ever since. It's f*cking dope seeing Marvel give her a shot like this and, so far, it's paying off. Her take on X-Men seems to be focusing on Armor but with a Coming-of-age twist. It's very unique and i am enjoying where she's taking the character. Hisako is basically Wolverine's fourth or fifth adopted daughter. That's it. That's as far as she gets in the main universe. Giving her the spotlight was an interesting choice, one that allows Peach to kind of juxtapose her mutation with the oft stifling expectations of conservative Japanese society. Plus, Storm is Japanese maybe? Or not because...

Wakanda Forever

Storm is an integral part of Ultimate Black Panther and is basically classic Ororo but, like, a teenager? Who has teamed up with Erik Killmonger? To save Wakanda from Konshu and Ra? I'm going to be honest, i don't like this book so far. I can't connect with it. It's definitely a slow burn, feels like a covert/espionage, spy thriller type narrative, which is fine, but it's taking WAY too long to get going. There is a ton of groundwork which needs to be laid so we're four issues in and just not getting the principal team together. It's a frustration, for sure, but i get it. Another thing taking me out of this is the Panther suit design. Sh*t is gross. You can tell everything in this Ultimate version of the world is heavily inspired by the MCU films but it's not hitting like it should. Ultimate Black Panther has potential but right now, I'm reading it just to keep up with events.

Ultimates

This one just dropped and, i must say, i like it more than any other Ultimates book to date. It's basically the origin of the team and it hits so much harder that any of the other comics to date. Lots of world building in the margins here and i mean that. Read all of the preamble and afterword because it gives you a very clear of what is going on with the current state of world affairs. The comic, itself, is pretty good. Legit shows the efforts to save the fledgling universe from The Maker and the failures. We get to see this take on Ant-Man and Wasp, plus a few licks of what is on the horizon. As a comic, it's underwhelming. As a preview of what's next, it's dope.

I know i said the big two but this one got away from me. I'll have to get to the DC stuff later and, obviously, it's about to be real Bat-Heavy. He seems to get just SO much love over there at Detective Comics Comics. That said, Marvel needs to keep betting on Hickman because this dude is delivering some fresh, fun, and brilliant takes on established characters. We need more of this unfettered creativity. That's what comics are supposed to be about in the first place.

Foreign Affairs

Actively did not think I’d be tapping back into my FGO progress so soon, but I have to say, this Twenty Million Download campaign has been very good to me. I mentioned before, probably a post or two ago, how I was able to cash in unexpectedly with Barghest and Gorgon. Barghest was number nine on my most anticipated Servants and Gorgon is an obvious favorite being a Medusaface. The fact I was able to just puck Gorgon as my free Four-Star Servant and popped Barghest using f*cking Summon Tickets was a boon. I was able to effectively get two of my most coveted Servant, for free. Who takes Summon Tickets seriously, ever? That means I went into the Event Banners fully loaded with all my Saint Quartz. My goal was to make a run at the Shuten Banner but, as I went back through to check when she was available, I noticed something rather enticing. Someone who had found a way to the top of my most anticipated list, long after I wrote it. Not only that, but she’d be my very first Foreigner; A Class which eluded me, even on my robust first account. No, it wasn’t Abby (She’s my f*cking unicorn now, I guess? Particularly the Summer version), but one just as equally captivating, if not more so. Jacques de Molay was going to be available for, like, a day and a half, and I needed her! I cannot tell you how hard I hit those free mission, stacking as many Saint Quartz as I could. I really wanted Shuten but my desire for the last Templar was far more robust. One would even say girthy. I accumulated about sixty of those f*ckers by the time the Banner went live and just hoped it would be enough. That’s just twenty-two spins, two Thirty Quartz pulls. I was able to bolster my odds with one of those Marathon Log In day gets, another thirty Quartz, but still. I made the first pull and got nothing. I mean, I got a few solid Craft Essences but who cares about that? Second pull away, another eleven spins and luck was on my side. Literally the second thing to pop was Jacques! Sixty Quarts and she was mine!

I immediately set out to enhance the f*ck out of her. Considering my aggressive participation in every Event lobbed my way since starting this second account, I had a substantial stockpile of Materials to throw at Jacques. Maxing her out to level ninety took a bit more effort, though. I had used a ton of those Hellfire of Wisdom I had stashed away, to level up a bunch of ancillary Servants for the Quartz bonuses. That means I had to actually run the gauntlet of the Training Grounds for more. I relished the opportunity. I mean, I needed to get her Bond Level up, too, so why not? Two birds, one stone. By the time that fifth level popped, I had more than enough to level her all the way up. Obviously, I had a decent stockpile to get her going but I ended up initially topping of at about level fifty and change. Respectable but useless alongside my one hundred and two Mordred. My Ninety Barghest, Gray, and Mash aren’t too shabby either. I spent most of yesterday evening, just grinding away, doing everything I could to get Jacques to her Final Ascension and max level. Actually having her in my front line as a proper Servant instead of support, felt brilliant, I must say. It’s insane how much progress I’m making with this second account, spending next to no real loot on it. The Gacha gods have been kind. Speaking of, I had and Extra Summon Ticket left and threw it at the Cast Banner one more time. They tossed back Baobhan Sith in return. You can’t make this sh*t up. I don’t even want her, I’m lousy with Assassins, but whatever. Cash them all out, am I right? If they’re offering, I’m for sure taking!

NBA Rant: Fall of the House of Mamba

Watching my LAkers continue to fail, year after year, during this LeBron era is f*cking excruciating. I love my squad. I have since I was probably fifteen years old, going back even further to the late Eighties when I realized Magic Johnson was my all-time favorite player. I’ve been spoiled, much like San Antonio, to have generational talent on my team for literal decades. I came of age right around when Kobe matured into who he was meant to be. Kobe, rest in peace, has claimed that rarefied air where only the like of Jordan once stood. I don’t mean in the sense of greatness, no one is catching the GOIAT, but I mean in terms of relevancy to the game. I mean in terms of legacy among hoopers. I mean in terms of worth to the culture. When you shoot that lump of paper into the bin, who’s name are you shouting as it thunks on the bottom? When Mamba and Mambacita passed, the world stopped. We all mourned. That loss hit home and it effected everyone. Kobe was more than a hooper, star, or celebrity. He was Kobe Bean Bryant and history will take notice. He is the greatest Laker to ever don the purple and gold (Magic will tell you that, himself) and arguably the second best to ever step on a basketball court (Most professional hoopers will tell you that, too.) Watching Kobe play was an experience. Once he was gone, once he finally hung it up after dropping sixty in his farewell game, we missed him. It was surreal to have an NBA with Bryant, a Staples with no Mamba Mentality. There as a vacuum and f*cking LeBron James saw an opportunity. He bailed on Cleveland for a second time and sidled his way out West, trying to claim the empty throne Kobe left. LeBron saw the Farewell Tour. He saw how much LA was hurt after Kobe left. He wanted to be that for LA, too. He wanted that same love. I think it was matter of security over his legacy. In his mind, Jordan was the ghost he was chasing and then Kobe passed. You can chase accolades and build a *weak* case for being the GOAT but there was no way he’d ever be loved like Mamba. None. And he needed that. So he came to LA and tried to take that. It has gone poorly.

I wouldn’t consider myself a LeBron hater, not anymore anyway. I used to be, mostly because of his audacity to even consider himself the Goat. James is my age. My entire generation grew up idolizing Michael Jordan. We all wanted to be like Mike, even if we had different favorite players. Michael Jordan was it. He touched the culture in ways no one else could, not until Kobe reached his final form during those Redeem Team Olympic games. We saw how big of an international star, Kobe was. We saw, firsthand, the fervor he got from China, Spain, and the rest of the Olympic hopefuls. Awash in the greatest athletes of their generations, Kobe Bryant was a star. LeBron trying to claim he was as big as Jordan, as Kobe, and couldn’t even shoot a consistent three or post up with all of that strength, left a foul taste in my mouth. Jordan’s mid-range game is unassailable. Kobe’s bag was deeper than deep. LeBron is just uber stupid athletic. A Slasher’s Slasher in an era where Slashing got you forty free throw attempts a game. LeBron James was a product of his era, not necessarily organically great. Physically gifted, for sure, but was he a complete basketball player? Is he complete, now, after two decades in the league? Is his bag as deep as Kobe’s? Empericle evidence would suggest not. LeBron James’ time in LA has been an abject failure. Obviously, I didn’t expect much when LeBron came over. I saw it more as bait to woo in Anthony Davis. LA has a history of legendary Bigs and Davis has that potential. We gave up a ton to make that trade happen, but were able top corral a solid team together, right before COVID locked the league up. We got the NBA Bubble in return and LA showed out. That team was fantastic. It was well balanced and performed exceptionally well together. We won an Asterisk but Bron celebrated like it was legit. He has two of those, actually. Kobe doesn’t. Neither does Jordan. Eventually, LeBron gonna LeBron and got Coach Vogel fired off some WWestbrick nonsense and has been torpedoing the team ever since. Mans doesn’t play defense. He takes ridiculously bad shots at the worst goddamn time. He’s faked injuries in a petulant tantrum and even threatened to retire after an embarrassing exit from the WCF last year. We got years of mediocrity and one questionable title out of James’ time in LA. Straight trash.

No one stands up to this dude. I mean, Pelinka does when he can. Last year’s run was because Rob stood firm at the trade deadline, much to James’ chagrin. He was pushing hard to have LA trade for Kyrie but that didn’t happen and LA made a run that ended in Denver well into the postseason. Now James is threatening to retire, again, if LA doesn’t draft his bust of a son, Bronny. Look, it’s not fair to call the kid a bust but, I mean, that’s what he is. Dude will make the NBA as straight up nepotism, something Kobe would never do for Gianna. If she was going to be great, and she would have been, she was going to do so on the merit of her game, not the celebrity of her name. For sure, should could walk onto the USC hoop team, no problem, but one could argue any collegiate program would allow Mambacita that option. I bet she wasn’t about to average seven points in her freshman season, though. I be she would be in the gym at 3 am, just like her pops, because she’s her father’s daughter. She’s the one who got him back into the gym after retirement. She’s the one who got him back on those LA sidelines. Her love for the game reignited the passion Kobe lost after he walked away from the game. That’s beautiful. Bronny stonking up the joint just so Jeanie can placate Bron into staying just to sell tickets, is not. This season was a disaster. Darvin Ham was a terrible f*cking coach. We actually hung an In-Season Tournament Banner, like that’s a thing. Everything ion the court was inconsistent as f*ck and it’s glaringly clear that James is taking away from the development of his team mates. Sure, he gets points and makes his stats, but they are inconsequential numbers. Who gives a f*ck about milestones if they come with an L? So what LeBron has the most points, ever, in NBA history. Mans has played for two decades. So what he’s played in the most Playoff games ever. Mans has played in the league for two decades. His personal stats mean nothing if they come at the cost of team success but, you know, he the GOAT, tho. A GOAT who has had every single coach he’s ever had, save one, fired. A GOAT that has lost more championships than he’s won. A GOAT who, when down three-to-one in the Playoffs, got on TV and said, out loud, with his whole chest that if he’s eliminated (which they would do in the very next game), that it doesn’t matter because “It’s just basketball.” That statement right there, is why I’m so goddamn disappointed. “It’s just basketball.”

Mamba would never.

Faerie Tales

I am in full Fate/Grand Order mode right now and it's paying off nicely. I think. It's an odd thing to juggle three mobile titles (FGO, Azur Lane, and Ever Crisis), Baldur's gate 3, Persona 3 Reload, and my millionth run at Mass Effect Legendary. I got too many games on my plate right now. I feel like i should pull back on something but, at the same time, nah? Like, P3R is my sh*t and i am absolutely in love with BG3. I dunno, maybe I'll reassess eventually but my crippling gaming addiction has only a nebulous effect on my choice to continue grinding through the admittedly frustrating and horrifically pay-walled world of the Grand Orders. I do it because i shill hard for Nasu and have for actual decades. Plus, some of the stories are really cool. F*cking Avalon le Fae was peak Type Moon and i cannot wait until the Dragon Slayer money runs out so they have UFOtable animate that sh*t. Interestingly enough, the Faeries are kind of why I'm even writing this update.

Yo, i popped Barghest! Tam Lin Gawain is easily my favorite of the Faerie Knights. I mean, Melusine is but Barghest is definitely right there with her. Of the newer Servants released since i lost my first account, She ranks right up there in the top ten. Actually, i think she was number nine. Albion was number one, but making it into that top ten is a feat in of itself. Dozens of dope ass servants were added in my years long hiatus and the Black Dog made it to the top of the top. It just kind of blows she's a Saber. I'm lousy with Sabers. A good portion of my Five-Stars are Sabers. Like, i already have Mordred, she will NEVER leave my party, and Artoria. They are powerhouses in their own right but i also have Okita and Altera as back up. That's four Five-Star Sabers. Where the f*ck does my Hellhound even fit? Still, i am mad hype to pop her off the Artoria Caster Banner, because i did it with some bullsh*t Summon Tickets! Pretty sure i got Artoria doing that, too, but that's not why I'm happy.

You see, that Caster Banner is part of the Twenty Million Downloads campaign. Also [art of that, are two special summon tickets, one for a Four-Star Craft Essence and the other for a Four-Star Servant. I was going to use that ticket on Barghest, even though i already have a ton of Sabers. That's how much i like the character. Popping her off that banner allows me to choose a different Servant now, one that i actually need. I have one Avenger and it's Hessian Lobo. That guy sucks. I mean, it's fine, but it ain't Demon Nobu. However, there is another Four-Star Avenger who i had on my old account. An Avenger that happens to be a Medusaface, and we all know how much of a sucker i am for Medusa. Not only did i get a Barghest on one of the most improbable ways possible, but i was able to outright choose Gorgon! I was able to secure a much need Avenger option AND the Black Dog I've wanted since Avalon was released! Honestly, I wish I had one more of those free tickets. I'm set on Gorgon, for sure, but Lancer Artoria Alter is an option, too, and she's kind of my favorite Artoria. There's just something about an Alter which really does it for me.

I'm actually really very pleased with this account right now. Sucks I'm still missing a ton of Servants that i want, but progress is being made. I mentioned in my last update i was able to finally acquire Anastasia but, since then, I've also added Ivan the Terrible, Anne Bonny and Marie Reed, Assassin Okita, and Lakshmibai. These are all solid additions, even though they aren't necessarily Servants i would personally choose for myself. I mean, Ivan is, that gigantic motherf*cker is a powerhouse, but considering i don't run at FGO Banners like i do Azur Lane ones, the fact that i have any Five-Stars is kind of a blessing. Obviously, my Mordred is coming along nicely. I've been able to both unlock and max out her second Append Skill, while grinding away at the monumental task of getting that eleventh Bond Level. Right now, that's the current quest. Oh, somehow, i was able to naturally roll a second Mordred so she's got a level two Noble Phantasm now. Just three to go! I'm just chipping away, man. Slowly but surely, I'll have my max Mordred.

Riding the Eye of the Storm

I am an unapologetic shill for Transformers, specifically Generation One. It was a pillar of my childhood. I’ve spoken about this at length because, like Spider-Man and Godzilla, this franchise shaped my taste in media for years to come. It was my love for transforming robots which lead me to Voltron, which spring boarded me to Robotech, that caused me to stumble down the cyberpunk rabbit hole and come to rest at the foot of Evangelion. Without Transformers, I wouldn’t have given Voltron a second look and probably missed out on my all-time favorite anime. Obviously, that’s hyperbole, kind of. I would have found EVA eventually, especially how saturated that franchise has become, but I would like to think my openness to it stemmed from my love for Optimus and his rag-tag bunch of freedom fighters. I’ve defended my little long form toy commercial for years, knowing that, as an Eighties product to move re-branded Diaclone and Micro Man content here in the States, there was no lore or cohesive story content to be had. I mean, there was, broad strokes of a eons long war, dead planets, Unicron, and whatever else, but not enough to really sink your teeth into. This was a kids show. No one needs character development or world building. Kids are dumb and won’t appreciate any of that. And then BtaS happened and all that sh*t changed. Transformers saw the value of narrative and gave us Beast Wars. From that point on, story and character finally took precedence. Every US developed Transformers show going forward, made it a point to build a lore around their core characters and, for a time, it was glorious. Animated and Prime gave us something really special. The War for Cybertron, with all of their faults, really put in the effort to build out that world. Even Cyberverse and Earthspark are out here, shining way more bright than they have any right to be. Hasbro has finally given proper due to the Transformers on the small screen and I am living for it. That said, theatrically? Theatrically, it’s been rough.

I hate Bayformers. Hate. Viscerally. Michael Bay is a terrible director. He’s great at action set pieces and has a brilliant eye for visual effects, but the man has no idea how to develop a character to save his life. He makes movies from the effects out. The spectacle is the point of his films, not the narrative content. So, for me, as a fan of this franchise for almost four goddamn decades, it was rough seeing the stark decline from the first to the last. Let’s be real right now, the Marky Mark Bayformers films are absolute nonsense. One of them didn’t even have the f*cking Decepticons transform, just explode into amorphous squares and sh*t. Bro, how you have a Transformers film without and transforming? Plus, they replaced the only actual character with an arc in the entire franchise, because Spielberg was offended she likened working for Mike Bay to serving under Hitler. Yo, if you knew how Megan Fox was treated on those sets, you’d know exactly why she said what she said. Ma got stories of the sexist bullsh*t she had to suffer through, going back to Bad Boys 2, when she was an extra on set at sixteen years old. The f*ck? And the way they wrote her out is just lazy. That chick Carly in the third? That was Mikaela, all day. Legitimately that’s the resolution to HER arc. After Fox got released in the off-season, Bay and his braintrust of writers just did a search-and-replace for anything that said Mikaela with Carly, and printed “revised” scripts. Lazy. Just f*cking lazy. I hate the Bayformers films so much, especially because they started with so much potential.

After The Last Knight deservedly flopped (Knights? In my Transformers movie? Really?), we got Bumblebee, which was basically the Iron Giant with our adorable, slug bug, mascot. And it was good. Travis Knight got a shot at this one and you can tell he wanted to do right by G1 and he did. I loved Bumblebee. Obviously, it wasn’t perfect. The aforementioned Iron Giant narrative is a thing but is that terrible? I loved the Iron Giant. It was dope. If you’re going to crib notes from something, make it a proven narrative, right? Avatar stole it’s entire goddamn identity from Dances with Wolves. Skyfall, my favorite Bond film, is just The Dark Knight. I can forgive Bumblebee basically lifting its entire vibe from The Iron Giant, especially with those opening scene on Cybertron. Believe me when I tell you, seeing my G1 inspired designs, mixed with the photo realism of that Bayformers aesthetic, I shrieked aloud. That one scene, was everything I wanted in my Transformers film. That was more than enough to satiate my very bias, very nostalgic, Millennial heart. I saw that sh*t three times in theaters and loved every second. I thought Bumblebee was a strong step forward in the right direction. That is until Rise of the Beasts dropped. Believe me when I say, RotB, was such a letdown after the high of Bumblebee. That sh*t was basically just a Bayformers entry without the goddamn Bayhem. The Bayhem is the point! You can’t make Bayformers with the Bayhem. Trying to imitate that sh*t halfheartedly, especially trying your best to bring in the Beast Wars fans and not alienate the goodwill you garnered from the excellent Bumblebee, was a goddamn mistake. I hate Bayformers because it’s a loud, disjointed, mess of admittedly beautiful visuals. The stories sucked, the Transformers designs are the worst in the franchise, and there story is so f*cking convoluted, it makes X-Men comics look like Emerson, but I was never bored watching them. Rise of the Beasts is boring. It takes the worst aspects of Bayformers and Bumblebee, mashes them together, and sh*ts out a very corpo curated product, with an eye toward a future cinematic universe. You can’t do that. You have to make sure your first entry is strong enough to stand on its own. That’s how the MCU did it. That’s how the Monsterverse did. That’s how it’s done. Which brings me to the point of this essay, Transformers One looks like that entry point.

When I heard we were getting an origin story for Transformers, roughly following the IDW and Prime origin of the Megs-Prime conflict, I was hesitant. That story is so good, and has been told excellently several times, but never in the theater, never in “serious” media. Then the cast was announced. Chris Hemsworth as Orion Pax? Bryan Tyree Hill as pre-despot Megatron? Word? The only one that made any sense to me was Scarlett Johansson as Elite-1 because of course. I figured Hasbro f*ckded up again but then something happened. I saw the character designs. They reminded me of that first five minutes from Bumblebee. Then a trailer dropped. It WAS the first five minutes of Bumblebee, mixed with a little bit of Beast Machines, and a whole lot of Transformers Prime. There was humor. There was levity. There was pathos and characterization. You can tell there is strong chemistry within the cast, something that wasn’t necessarily a thing in Bayformers, RotB, but was definitely there in Bumblebee. There was color, life, enthusiasm, and genuine warmth. That short three minutes, sold me immediately on this film and I need so much more. It felt authentic to Transforms, an extension of the very best the franchise has to offer, and really hammered home how this theatrical franchise should have been full CG from the very beginning. I mean, the theatrical continuity for Transformers is an absolute mess now, but this origin film has the potential to clean that up. As long as it’s good. So far, I am loving what I’ve seen. So far, I have hope. It’s weird to say, but I have optimism for a good theatrical Transformers film again.

Risky Business

Buckle up, because this is going to be a long one. In my boundless dead time at my job because I am way too efficient at what I do, I came across an article about how Hollywood just doesn’t understand the popularity of anime and manga. Putting that sentiment through the capitalist filter of corporate Hollywood, it basically translates to US executives do not understand how to monetize the fervor anime has across the younger generations. For me, as a fan of the genre going on three and a half decades, it’s a no-brainer for me. Of course the Old Guard can’t wrap their heads around anime, they think it’s for “kids” because they see us, the Millennials and younger, as kids. Bro, I’m forty this year. I have friends with whole ass teenage children. We are not “kids”, just very nostalgia driven and the Zoomers are just now entering “real adult age.” I’m talking graduating from college, entering the workforce, and renting cars without a co-signer. We are not children. We are adults who are shaping, and have been shaping, pop culture for decades. Considering we, as Millennials, have raised our younger Zoomer siblings (or children in some cases), they grew up with anime and video games as a household mainstay, not some niche, geek, fetish to be enjoyed in the dark. Now ask yourself, how many mid-Forties movie executives are there in the industry? Now ask yourself how man mid-Sixties Execs there are? That’s your answer. Try selling the allure of, say, a proper, live action, Dragon Ball Z adaption to Bob Iger and he’ll scoff at the budget necessities. There’s no way something like Reincarnated as a Slime get made here, let alone the likes of the immediately controversial EVA with all of the biblical imagery. There’s no way you can adapt the vast amount of anime based strictly on the fact that the US was founded by closed minded prudes, and that sentimentality has carried over into present day Middle America.

My beef with Conservatism has long been documented on this blog. I don’t understand why so many people in this country, look back with rose colored glasses on an America that was staunched in hate and cruelty. I mean, I do, they’re white, but still. It’s insane to think that, in this, the year of our lord, two thousand and twenty-four, that cats still get their dander in a froth over something as ridiculous as being a Furry, even though bugs bunny in a dress was a sexual trigger for just SO many of these Boomers growing up. Sh*t like that speaks volumes toward the repressed mentality of people in that age range, the people basically in charge of everything. They are set in their ways and refuse to accept anything new. I see a microcosm of that with my mom. I try to introduce her to anime I believe has merit and she just scoffs at it. Ghost in the Shell, Akira, Howl’s Moving Castle (even though I don’t like Ghibli films), and even Vampire Hunter D. She hated all of them. Refused to engage because they are cartoons. And that, right there, is the crux of the issue, I think: Boomers don’t see the difference between Mickey Mouse and Goku, it’s all just cartoons. On the surface level. For those who actually give anime a chance, they’re greeted with some of the most aggressively offensive content, to their very narrow, counter-culture, Reaganomics influenced, Televangelist inspired, senses.

My favorite anime is Neon Genesis Evangelion. My favorite anime character is Rei Ayanami. Or Vegeta. They’re basically one-A and one-B for me at this point but, for the sake of this essay, I’m going Rei I. EVA is brilliant. It’s extremely well written, has fantastic world building, is f*cking GORGEOUS to look at, and deals with some pretty heavy sh*t. I’m talking borderline blasphemous, alternate biblical sh*t. How do you sell a fourteen year old, piloting a cyborg mech with the soul of his dead mom trapped inside it, punching through the Sefirot, in order to trigger the end of humanity so everyone can return to primordial goo, so his widowed father can reunite with said trapped mommy soul in eternal oblivion? How do you market that to a devoutly Mormon trad wife from Idaho or that stereotypical, god-fearing, coal mining husband from West Virginia? There’s no way, and that’s not counting the overtly hom*osexual (I guess?) Kowru or the hyper sexualized relationship between Shinji and Asuka, or the wildly inappropriate situationship between Gendo and Rei. This sh*t will not fly with US audiences., which brings me to the main reason why anime adaptions fail here: Americanization. The bane of any foreign adaption. Hollywood has this incessant need to change sh*t when adapting anything, which is fine to an extent, but when you butcher the spirit of the source material chasing after US sensibilities, why even adapt the sh*t? To this day, my mom thinks the original Godzilla is dog sh*t but that’s because she saw the version re-cut with Perry Mason. I showed her the original and, while she admitted it was much better than the one she saw as a kid, the damage was done. Tokusatsu was just goofy ass Japanese people., stomping on miniatures with fireworks popping off in the background. Godzilla came out in 1954. The Americanization of Japanese cinema has been poisoning entire audiences for at least that long. Guess who grew up watching those terrible f*cking adaptions? Guess who has a built-in bias because everything they saw coming out of Japan, was treated like goofy, campy, unserious, children’s fair? Guess who’s making the business decisions in adapting this sh*t going forward?

Ultimately, Hollywood can’t make anime adaptions because don’t understand anime. They don’t see the value in the source material outside the superficiality of the admittedly beautifully animated genre. No major studio is going to commit legitimate resources to any anime adaption because of the risk involved. In their minds. Look at Battle Angel Alita. That film was rather successful and stayed true to the overall source material. As an anime adaption, it’s one of the best. However, since it didn’t make a billion f*cking dollars, the studio has refused to revisit it at all. They’ve chocked that “failure” up to not connecting with audiences. No, it failed because you didn’t market it the way you should have. You didn’t believe in the franchise potential and basically just dropped the thing into the theater. Even so, Alita: Battle Angel made a profit and has garners a strong cult following which hasn’t stopped their calls for a sequel to this day. On the other end, you have the disastrous ScarJo Ghost in the Shell. There are a myriad of reasons why this thing sucks but it basically boils down to how lazy the adaption turned out. The original anime film is a staple of cyberpunk existentialism. None of that heady, deep, and challenging content is found in the remake. It’s just generic sci-fi identity thriller but pretty that usual. No substance, all flash. Now, that’s not to say there aren’t fantastic adaptions out there. Netflix has done a brilliant job, by comparison, in turning anime into live action. The Yu Yu Hakusho joint was decent. It felt culturally appropriate and didn’t squander the time they had with the characters. It was definitely on the cheaper side but that was Yu Yu, all day. I think the biggest issue people had was comparing it to the absolutely perfect One Piece outing which released just a few months earlier. That show, that take, was perfect. F*cking everything, down to the last, minute, detail. Brilliance, through and through. But it also cost Netflix a pretty penny. They took on the risk and reaped the well-deserved rewards.

But, as much as they would like to be, Netflix ain’t Disney or WB Discovery or Paramount or any of the major studios. All three of them. They don’t have the cash to drop on a sweeping fantasy adaption of Berserk or high adrenaline, hyper stylized, run at Eyeshield 21. Do you see Disney putting in the necessary resources to make a strong adaption of One-Punch Man? How about Paramount letting Secret Base take a shot at something like Gundam? Wait, I think Netflix has it’s mitts on that already. Alright, we’ll go Macross instead. Imagine if someone gave Tim Burton enough loot to adapt f*cking Big O! How dope would that be? But it’ll never happen. Even though Pacific Rim did gangbusters and the Monsterverse proves there’s an audience for Mecha/Kaiju content, no one is going to drop the sheckles to make that stuff happen. Too much loot, too much risk, not enough appreciation for the source material. It sucks because there are so many US audience friendly franchises out there which are good, can be made on the cheap, and potentially thrive here. I already mentioned One-Pinch, but f*cking Slam Dunk is right there. Overlord can definitely scratch the current DnD itch Baldur's Gate 3 has set ablaze across the nation. Chobits is another one and I think City Hunter can do well here for adults. Appleseed is right there and, if you want to go niche but full of potential, AD police and Bubblegum Crisis. The Castlevania show all but paved the way for Vampire Hunter D to get the live action treatment. There are so many franchises out there ready for adaption, ready for the gamble, almost all of which will pay off. It just takes someone in the big chair to seriously believe in that content. Someone with the foresight to commit the necessary resources to really give these adaptions justice. Believe in what is there and respect the content. Follow those rules, and you will unlock a cash cow of brand new, monetizable, media to exploit. But stay away from Akira. That sh*t is a masterpiece and doesn’t need any grubby American Corpo fingers anywhere near it!

Into the Abyss

Boy, it has been a clean minute since I've updated my Azur Lane progress, mostly because the content has been a trickle this year, but with the current Rerun Event, I felt obliged to do so. Seriously this year has been mad slim on stuff to do in my favorite WWII sim. As a KMS main, coming off a year which was straight up lousy with Kraut progress, I am a little… disappointed with the current offerings. I feel like it’s been that way for a while, actually. Like, I found the stagnation of the game to be pretty prominent last year but, again, I am heavily Iron Blooded so that’s probably just my bias. That’s not to say I haven’t gotten anything for my main Fleet over the last few months, just that I kind of wanted more. Still, there were other facets which have progress so I can’t be all that mad. But I kind of am.

Please, Sir, May I Have Some More

Look, man, this Iron Blood drought is killing me. Like, we've had a few crumbs but that's it. Crumbs. Obviously, I've gobbled up what i could, which ain't much. The two P6 boats, one of which was a Decisive and the Confluence of Nothingness event. That's it. Man, i am STARVING over here! So much so that, when Friedrich Carl showed up on that Banner, i dove wholeheartedly into that sh*t. And, boy, did it cost. I went at that banner with round four hindered Wisdom Cubes. It literally took close to three three hundred of the f*ckers to finally pop the first, new, Kraut Girl in almost a year. Seriously, i popped SO many f*cking dupes of almost every other ship on the Banner before i finally scored Carl. That sh*t hurt my pockets, bad. Like, egregiously. She finally decided to appear, when i was at my wit's end, but I'm content about it. I ain't happy, but my main Fleet is still one hundred percent complete, so small victories. But, for real, Manjuu needs to drop some more KMS ships soon. I'm dying over here!

The Coldest Winter

The whole reason I am writing this thing, is to address the massive Ruskie mammoth in the room – the Abyssal Refrain Rerun. Once upon a time, long, long ago, i passed on this Event because i kind of didn’t give a sh*t about chasing another Fleet at the time. I was headlong in my Iron Blood quest so I missed out on a lot of ash*t back then. Shimakaze, New Jersey, and, prudent to this particular post, Kronshtadt. Tunnel vision, for sure. After I netted U-110 and caught up with the Iron Blood offerings, I set out on honing my Northern Parliament Fleet next. After the Germans, the Russians are my favorite Fleet based on aesthetic. By then, however, Abyssal Refrain was in the rear view and I missed out on, like, three of those ships, Kronshtadt being the most important. Not only was she a glaring hole in the puzzle that was my burgeoning SN Fleet, she was the last UR boat I needed, after claiming both Shimakaze and New Jersey on Rerun Lite events. Seeing her banner reappear, I absolutely made a run. The thing is, I was low on resources. Chasing after Friedrich Carl taxed my pockets hard. Fortunately, since this is a Rerun which I had kind of participated in before, I had Ship Building tickets. Ran through those real fast but it wasn’t enough. I only had around one hundred, fifty Wisdom Cubes and was sitting on the edge of my seat rolling for that UR sweetness. It only took three. Sixty Cubes and she popped. I FINALLY had EVERY natural UR ship (not Decisive) available! Yes, I've included Sovetsky Soyuz in that assertion I absolutely made out like a bandit during Snowrealm Peregrination. It was, like, four rolls, total, and i popped all those ships. One of the easiest Banners I've ever attempted. That luck would not hold. Anyway, the Ultra Rare side quest is down, but I’m still missing Volga at the moment. Popped two Kievs chasing Kron and i hate it. Why the f*ck am i loading up on Shop Ships and not the one Banner i still ain't got? The f*ck?

Starving

We are winding down on the current anime season and I say to it, “Good riddance!” Look, almost everything which dropped this Winter, has been trash. Absolute bunk. And I don’t mean in a poor narrative way, I mean in an execution way. Some of my favorite manga got adaptions and they’ve all been WILDY disappointing. One got a continuation and the you can see the slash in budget with every handicapped frame. Sh*t was absurd. Others, just didn’t get the money they deserved. I’m over here reeling from the fact that Winter 2024 might go down in history as one of the worst seasons of anime, ever. That’s insane because, for the past few years, we’ve seen a strong uptick in overall quality. Anyway, as this underwhelming Winter season gives way to a much more promising Spring 2024, I wanted to look back and pay respect to the slog we all endured. Apparently, budget cuts was overarching theme this time around.

The Cream of the Crop

Frieren: At Journey’s End

With no hyperbole or exaggeration, Frieren is one of the best anime I have ever seen in my entire life. From production, to execution, to writing, to animation and performances; All of it is a shining example of what this medium has to offer. Frieren is a goddamn masterpiece and will go down as a classic. And I’m just talking about to the first half of this show. Everything I just said, was turned up a notch for the back end. I thought it would be hard to top that Aura scrap but then then Frieren mirror match happened and I was legitimately awestruck. Absolutely beauty. Absolute spectacle. Those big moments stun, but it’s the small ones which really make this show. When Fern and Serie met and had their little exchange? Yeah, for me, THAT was the greatest thing this show ever produced. Sousou no Frieren is, without a doubt, a masterpiece, both on the page and on the screen.

Delicious in Dungeon

One of the very first post I made on my Review blog which got solid traction on this hell site, was an ode to Dungeon Meshi. I’ve loved this manga for years. I wasn’t on that ride in the very beginning, but I stumbled across it early in it’s run and decided to ride that story out until the very end. It was well worth it. Meshi is one of the strongest manga I’d ever read so, when it was announced it would finally get an adaption, I was mad hyped. The problem came when it was announced that f*cking Trigger would be the production house bringing that sh*t to life. I was absolutely sure that the kinetic, frantic, unrelentingly spastic, animation style of Gainax Jr., would not lend itself to the wonderful art and delicate lines Ryoko Kui laid on the page. For the most part, I was right. I expected a studio like Pierrot or Madhouse would have delivered a much richer animation experience but, as the series progressed, I found myself less and less offended by those Dead Leaves sensibilities. In fact, after this last episode with the slaying of the red dragon, I am all for it. Still wish UFOtable or someone got the contract but the narrative, performances, and grand nature of the adventure, make up for those fleeting Kill La Kill levels of absurd in the animation.

Tsukimichi: Moonlit Fantasy 2nd Season

This one squeaks right in there, but just barely. For the most part, it continues on from the excellent first season. That said, you can definitely see this thing had a budget cut. When it shines, it’s bright as f*ck, can’t lie. But there was a whole ass battle that was just skipped and I REALLY wanted to see that animated. Interestingly enough, this is a continuation of a series that started in one of the previous, much better, anime seasons, similar to the trash fire that is Banished from the Hero’s Party. That one, we’ll get to it here in a minute, was absolutely hammered by budget cuts and it kind of has me wondering if these second season shows, just didn’t garner enough popularity to give them the same level of care as before? As I recall, Tsukimichi often ranked in the upper part of popularity results, week in and week out, so it’s rather surprising to me that the quality dropped so much. It’s no Reincarnated as a Sword or Chainsaw Man, but it still had a decent following behind it. Why would the studio opt to cut corners like this? It’s just damaging an already proven brand.

The Underwhelming

Solo Leveling

I just do not understand the hype around this series. As far as I can tell, it’s a mediocre power fantasy where the protagonist is mad overpowered for no reason. That’s fine, two of my favorite anime are based around this trope (Overlord and Slime are top tier), but this? This is just meh. It doesn’t help that the show, and the overall narrative, doesn’t pick up for a full five episodes. Talk about a slog, man. Just getting to the point where he has that second Awakening was a goddamn chore. After that? It’s all just gore and the occasional cool animation effect. Overall, for a show going in with this much hype, I’m left wanting. In my head, I can see Madhouse absolutely crushing this thing but A-1 seems to be dragging their feet. Like, it’s not cheap looking at all, we’ll get to those here in a second, but I just feel like, with all the potential this thing has, Solo could have been so much more. I absolutely understand the hype, I really do. There is, for sure, something special about Solo Leveling. I can see it in the margins. But, for a guy like me who has been watching anime for almost three and a half decades, this one is just fine.

The Disappointments

My Instant Death Ability is so Overpowered

The first of many to be crippled by budget. Again, I am a fan of the manga. This one popped up as a surprise. I had no idea it was getting an adaption so, taking in that first episode, I understood immediately how awful this show was going to be. It has it’s moments but, overall, it is gross to look at. Like, this thing had less than a shoestring budget because goddamn! I’m not going to sit here and pretend that there was a large enough fan base to justify AAA levels of animation, but at least give me a consistent, competent, frame rate. This sh*t is about as consistent as an ice head from Florida!

Chained Soldier

This one hurt. Bro, I LOVE Mato Seihei no Slave. It’s one of the few manga whose release I properly anticipate. I read dozens of these things but there are probably seven or eight I'm really invested in, and Slave is at the top of that list. When it’s adaption was announced, my hype was real. And then I watched that first episode. Disappointment. But, I was willing to give the show the benefit of the doubt. Maybe it will get better as time goes on? It did not get any better. This thing is ugly and has these weird ass, throwback, splash scenes whenever an attack is used. It’s f*cking absurd and makes the show WAY more dated than it actually is. There’s a certain charm you need to execute that type of stuff and this adaption has none of that. And, as if to make the entire situation worse, the actual battle scenes, the strongest part of the manga, awe the weakest aspects of this anime! How do you fumble the bag this hard??

Gushing Over Magical Girls

Here’s another one that is just plain disappointing. Again, huge fan of the manga. High expectations. Dashed on the rocks of a stymied budget. Just off the premise alone, evil yuri Magical Girl battles with a hard lean into sadism, how goddamn popular this show could have been? Do you know how much potential for gags, visual brilliance, and clever fan service, ended up wasted because there were no funds to properly animate that sh*t? Gushing is, unapologetically, smut, but it’s smut that does something fun. Watching this adaption is not fun. It’s borderline painful. I wasn’t even all that hyped when i found out about this pone, more curious how it would be executed. I had no expectations and still, I was so very, very, disappointed.

Banished from the Hero’s Party

I can’t say I am a huge fan of this one but I do enjoy the manga. It’s got fantastic art, endearing characters, and some of the best fight scenes on the page. I recall that translating fairly well in the first season of this show. Definitely not the second. Someone took a rusty knife to this thing’s budget and it shows. Bro, there are frame rate issues, errors, and inconsistencies throughout every goddamn scene of this show. A perfect example? The “fight” between Ruti and whoever the new hero dude is. That sh*t was THE WORST and it’s arguably the BEST fight in the goddamn show! I wince for what was, lament for what is, and weep for what could have been.

Honorable Mentions or The Dropped

The Wrong Way to Use Healing Magic

This one is fine. Generic, Isekai, nonsense, but still pretty fun. It’s inoffensive and decently animated, for the most part. Sh*t’s not redefining the genre or impressing with it’s visuals, but I’m not trying to claw my eyes out while watching it, either.

Ragna Crimson

This one is another anomaly for me. I used to read the manga but dropped it long ago. It just felt too repetitive and wildly uninspired I took a gander a the first few episodes of this thing and it’s fine. I wasn’t super impressed but that’s probably more because I didn’t care for the anime all that much. I mean, he action is solid or whatever but it’s a soft pass for me.

Tales of Wedding Rings

Another surprise in the same vein of Gushing Over Magical Girls. Wasn't expecting it at all but figured I’d give it a shot on the strength of the manga. It’s fine. The art from the book is so much stronger and you lose a lot of that charm with the simplified animation models. I've seen around five or six episodes of this one but I have no intention of finishing the series. The difference between the manga art, and the anime style, is so disparate, it’s just depressing.

Admittedly, most Winter anime seasons are kind of whack. With the exception of continuations, content be real thin during the waning days of last year, and burgeoning weeks of current. It feels a lot like Hollywood in that way. You get occasional gems sprinkled in there, I'm told both Metallic Rouge and Ishura are excellent, but I can't be bothered to even start them. I've been too disappointed with the lot I chose. Maybe I'll circle back and dig deeper into what was presented this season but, as it stands, bring on the Spring already!

Birthday Cake

X-Men ’97 is just over the horizon and I am mad hyped about it. I grew up on that show. It was one of the few cartoons which both my mother and I could watch together. I, being an unapologetic Marvel shill, was all over the Mutants while my mom was actually enamored with the narrative. There were a few cartoons from back that that caught her attention. The Maxx, Gargoyles, and Spawn were also favorites. Don’t ask why I was watching HBO’s Spawn as a twelve year old kid. Or reading his comics. Or even buying them. Look, man, the Nineties were a different time. We drank out of hoses and watched ultraviolent anime because our parents thought they were “just cartoons.” We were feral, latchkey kids, back in my halcyon days. Good times. Tangent aside, X-Men inform a great deal about how I perceived Marvel Merry Mutants. It was my first exposure to characters like Apocalypse and Nimrod. While I had read The Dark Phoenix saga as a youngster, it was this show which adapted it perfectly. Live action is still chasing that high. Not only that, but it launched Marvel’s very first, and wildly successful, connected universe. Without X-Men, we wouldn’t have gotten that just-as-iconic Spider-Man cartoon, or the lesser known but equally excellent Iron Man, Incredible Hulk, and Fantastic Four shows. The Nineties X-Men cartoon was a watershed moment for Marvel and for Millennials as a whole. For us Marvels shills, it rivaled Batman: The Animated Series in popularity. So color me surprised that X-Men ’97 is being colored as controversial.

Out the box, it’s that tired ass argument that X-Men ’97 too woke. Everything is always too woke. What started out as people being frustrated they turned Rogue’s decadent, devil’s food, bunt cakes, into petite, little, tea biscuits, has spiraled into a weird fervor about who’s gay or something-something forced representation. Half-hearted kidding aside, it’s staggering to me that people are actually mad about this stupid sh*t. Do they even know what the f*ck X-Men is about? The entire concept of a marginalized part of the community, fighting just to be seen as human, is literally the wokest sh*t you can ever write and THAT’S the core of the X-Men mythos! The Uncanny X-Men started out as a very heavy handed allegory for the Civil Rights movement and, while this wasn’t Stan Lee’s initial intent, the characters of Professor X and Magneto became stand ins for the ideologies of Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X. Just, you know, with super powers. The X-Men are the epitome of Woke so to complain about that sh*t seems like you don’t even understand the f*cking point of the narrative. I miss rogue’s big fat ass just as much as the next kid, but you’re f*cking pathetic if you feel some kind of way about Morph being pansexual or non-binary (They literally can change into anything. Like Mystique). There are actual things to be outraged about, like how the creator of this revival is pretty much a scumbag, or how Marvel Studios has been suffering in the writing department for years. That’s where my concern would lie, especially considering how well written the OG show was.

Is this show going to be Woke? Absolutely. That’s the entire goddamn point of the X-Men. It’s the core of who they are. Take that away and what do you have? A bunch of Capes with random f*cking powers who live in the same house. Where’s the hook? Where’s the draw? Where’s the meat? How are they different than the Avengers at that point? The Fantastic Four? The Defenders? It’s that sprinkling of social consciousness which really gets the juices flowing, really revs up those storytelling engines. I mean, tell me how you write something as profound as God Loves, Man Kills, without it being “Woke”? You can’t. That is a gut-punch of a read and it’s pulled right out of today’s headlines, even though it was written forty years ago. The fear-mongering is real, but instead of Nightcrawler, it’s Mexicans. Same goddamn energy, same goddamn racist ass narrative. Even when they are spiraling out into a world of sci-fi, deep space, time travel misadventures, the core of their narrative is how much they are hated. This whole Krakoa saga, some of the best X-Stories told in decades, is coming to a close because of that long held hate and fear. House of M? Role reversal, mutants accepted and humans forced into being second class citizens. Decimation? Wanda kills off the powers to ninety percent of the entire Mutant population. Utopia, Operation: Zero Tolerance, Genosha, the entirety of the Ultimate run: All derivative of that social pressure and general fear toward the different. That’s what makes an X-Men story, and X-Men story. Getting mad about that sh*t after decades of that being a core aspect of their stories, is f*cking dumb. Not as dumb as Marvel excising Rouge’s cheeks, though. Rest in Power, you doubled-up, delicious, pound cakes! You will be missed.

Going Solo

I am trying my goddamndest to care about Solo Leveling but it has become a straight up ordeal. I do not understand the hype at all. Admittedly, I am prone to automatically dislike the most popular and mainstream of sh*t on principal. I tent to find the fans of those types of thing to be objectively insufferable and it turns me off to whatever the sh*t is. I cannot tell you how many Narutards and WoW trolls have attacked me in my life because I don’t prostrate myself at the feet of their chosen media. Like, Naruto is okay. It’s the second best of the Big Three but I’m a BLEACH guy and World of Warcraft is whatever. I don’t give a sh*t about MMORPGs in general. Interestingly enough, I am about that solo life in my RPGs. I am a man of story. I love well developed characters and a properly fleshed out world. These are all things I was led to believe Solo Leveling archives. I’m seven episodes in, and haven’t seen any of it. The wild thing is, everyone who swears by this show is telling me that it’s not supposed to, that the narrative doesn’t pick up until f*cking chapter one hundred. Bro, what?

Solo Leveling has garnered much of its praise from the excellent web comic of the same name. As I understand it, the rich world building and colorized art, is what has people completely enamored with the series. I made an attempt, long ago, to get into this thing right before it got hot-hot and couldn’t stand it. The art is bad, very amateurish in my opinion. The coloring was very basic, too. I could tell that this was a series made by A guy in his bedroom, basically. That’s fine. I’m all about that. Get your exposure. I’m a huge fan of ONE. His Web comic version of One-Punch Man is the worst in terms of art, but the world building was there almost immediately. There was enough in those first few hideous chapters, to keep me coming back. Eventually, Murata got a hold of the narrative and blessed us with his art. All of a sudden, OPM is brilliant on all fronts and I can dig it. Solo Leveling has not been blessed in this way. An entire series and a spin-off later, this sh*t is still ugly as f*ck to look at. It’s so ugly, the immaculate world building can’t even really save it for me and that’s a whole different issue, in of itself!

Bro, the overarching story is kind of whack. I’ve watched a ton of plot synopsis and “what you need to know” about Solo Leveling, and i am thoroughly unimpressed. I’ve come across these OP protag stories before, it’s basically a trope now, so the devil is in the details. From what I can tell, the details in Solo are not all that interesting. Like, I’ve seen this plot before. I’ve read this story multiple times. It’s Reincarnated as a Slime/Sword. It’s Kenichi, Black Clover, and Tokyo Ghoul. It’s Parasyte, Deadman Wonderland (which is excellent, one of my favorites, and a high recommend), Attack on Titan, and f*cking Arifureta. All of these narratives follow the same beats, hit the same notes, and deliver the same kind of overall plot. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, Slime, Wonderland, and Sword are some of my favorite anime, all-time, I’m just saying Solo has a lot of work to do in order to impress and it’s falling really short. I can’t wait over a hundred chapters worth of content for this sh*t to finally catch up to what Slime did in ten. That’s bogus as f*ck.

I am flailing over here, man. I want to like this sh*t, I really do. Conceptually, Solo is right up my alley, but this goddamn execution is killing me. It took five whole ass episodes for ANYTHING to happen. Even then, the animation was pathetic. Even during the short bursts of very obvious budget expenditure, sh*t was still barely dope. I’m watching this and just keep thinking One-Punch Man is basically the blue print for this stuff and it’s exceptional. The other one, Tower of God, is f*cking brilliant all around. Why is Solo Leveling so goddamn pedestrian? Not even the gore is enough to distract me from the utter disappointment and I don’t even actually care about this show like that. It is a frustration because I can see this thing being great if another animation studio actually put in the effort to animate this sh*t. If it had a distinct vision for its art style or some sort of specific look it could call its own. Instead, it’s the most generic sh*t I’ve seen in anime in some time and I just don’t care about it.

Viy Viy Viy

It'd been a clean minute since i updated on my FGO account growth and for good reason: I got locked out again! Fortunately, your boy learns lessons and i made sure to keep track of all the sh*t they said i didn't, last time. I've come far enough, and spent enough of my actual dollars, for this sh*t to hurt if i lost my account again, so i stay prepared with that recovery info. Servant Name, Birth date, what device you play on (this is the bit they got frothy about), User ID, Gender, Current Level, Favorite Servant, Current Party, and the last Transfer Code you used. It was super weird, though, because, even after i filled out that retrieval form, cats over yonder at Recovery were trying to say i still f*cked up for playing on an emulator. Like, bro, what? You telling me that i can lose my account permanently, for playing on my big ass laptop screen instead of my big-ass-for-a-phone screen? That sh*t is dumb. Just let us tie our accounts to something like every other competing mobile game, goddamn! Like, seriously, how have you, as a mobile game, been around for nearly a decade, and still don't have that option? Quality of life frustrations aside, I've come pretty goddamn far on part deux, even farther than the first account.

Right now, as we speak, my Master level ticked up to 124. I can't remember what i was on the first account, but I'm pretty sure i was around there when i lost it so, in terms of grind, I'm back to where i was, in roughly a third of the time. I am okay with that. I've powered through the story, cracking Avalon Le Fae literally the other day. The Lostbelts have turned out to be pretty f*cking solid, considering how hit-and-miss the Singularity stories were. Like, I'm not mad, those were fun, especially the last three, but you can tell me you wouldn't want to see an Olympus (and, yes, i am including Atlantis in that) adaption over a Babylon one, any day of the week. I could be bias in that regard, though. Ancient Greek mythology is my sh*t and A LOT of those Greek gods were dope as f*ck. I had a particularly good time with that Zeus fight. Sh*t was mad fun and i loved that interpretation so much. I, for sure, thought these things were going to suck because Anastasia was kind of bunk, but color me surprised as those plots got better as the Lostbelts progressed. I still have a few narratives to go to catch up, The straight up epic of Avalon and that Epilogue, Plus all the Free Quests i haven't done, but that grind has been good for my Roster. And let me tell you, i am okay with the Servants i have summoned.

Yo, i finally popped Anastasia! Netting the last Romanov is what made this account so hard to part with. I've been chasing her icy ghost for years, man. She's been my favorite Caster and top ten all-time Servant, since she was introduced all those years ago. Now, finally, FINALLY, she's mine! Obviously, i immediately maxed her out in terms of level. That is one of the perks of all this story grind, actually. I'm lousy with Hellfire of Wisdoms. Chucking a few dozen at my favorite Caster is nothing. Kind of in the same way i Grail'd up and maxed out Gray. Well, level ninety max, anyway. I was able to unlock everything i needed to perfectly level El-Melloi's assistant during her Rerun event and that effort has paid off considerably. She is a solid f*cking Assassin. Don't misunderstand, it's King Hassan, all day over here, but I'd be lying if i said Gray has left my Party since i solved that last case. Along the way, I've thrown a few Saint Quarts at a couple of Banners and popped me an Archer Ishtar, Lakshmibai, Parvati, Assassin Okita, and both versions of Ibaraki. I even stumbled across a Saber Arturia, which is hilarious because that sh*t eluded me for years on my first account. Sh*t was, like, the fifth, naturally rolled, Five star i got. Unfortunately, Saber Arturia is trash. I'm also missing my Gorgon and Demon Nobunaga really hard lately. They were two of my favorite Servants on the old account. It's a frustration but, overall, a mild one, I don't hit the Banners as hard as i used to so i have a pretty solid war chest of quarts. To be honest, i actually rolled a ton more Four Stars a long the way, but i burned them all for Rare Prisms. My first account was kind of a "Collect them all" situation but i learned that sh*t is unnecessary. "Collect what you want" is the name of the game now and i wanted to be a beast. I am WELL on my way to making that happen.

I can officially say, i am half a Bond level away from leveling Mordred to that perfect ten. Once that happens, I'll have all but matched where she was on my first account. I say "all but" because I'm still two Noble Phantasm levels short of where she was, and three from being maxed out. That sh*t is a bummer because I'm pretty much at the mercy of the Gacha gods for that one but everything else? Yeah, I'm pouring resources into favourite regicide artist. I was able to grail her and level her up to one hundred a while back but, since we are substantially past where i was cut to ff the last time i played, we can keep that level grind going all the way to one hundred and twenty! Guess who is working on one hundred and one right now? I actually looked into what it's going to take to get Mo to the next level cap and it' f*cking egregious. I got a ways to go, my guy. Fortunately, i as able to max out all of her skills, unlock an append and max that out out, as well as program Command Codes to all of her Command Cards, most of which were Five stars. Again, Mordred needs to be a powerhouse. I'm satisfied with my progress o far but I'd be lying if i said i didn't miss my old account. This new one is coming along nicely but, looking back at what was, i still have a long way to go. Oh! Almost forgot, i also unlocked Mordred's Memories of Trifas costume. Because of course I did. Who the f*ck do you think i am?

Festival Season

I am a massive fan of MegaTen games. I love everything about them; the battle systems, characters, and overall world. I fell in love with the summoning and fusion systems of these games almost immediately and longed for other franchises to do something similar. It was basically Digimon Fusion before Digimon was a thing. Who wouldn’t want to Lego two Pokemon into a goddamn MewTwo? The missus introduced me to this brave new world with the purchase of Digital Devil Saga so long ago. It was one of the first gifts I ever got her. Watching her play that sh*t really awakened something within me. It was like watching my kid brother playing Final Fantasy IX for the first time but with, you know, violent monstrosities. Way back then, during the golden age of the JRPG, on the PS2, we made it a point to play all of the obscure titles. Nippon Ichi and Atlus were our bread and butter. We had copies of Stella Deus, every DIsgaea available, and even Soul Nomad. No one talks about Soul Nomad. One day, she came home with Persona 3. On that list was Persona 3 vanilla. Bro, after we booted it up and those first few notes of Burn My Dread popped, I was hooked. I must have put three hundred hours into that game. I conquered everything I could in that game, romanced every option, and completed one hundred percent of that sh*t. I unlocked every Persona on just two runs and readily did it again when FES released. The Answer was kind if disappointing but I didn’t mind running through the enhanced world of P3 once again. And then I did it one more time when P3P dropped, though, admittedly, Portable is my least favorite of the lot. Persona 3 opened my eyes to a world of RPGs beyond just your Final Fantasys and Dragon Warriors. Because I enjoyed this one game so much, I was open to trying out others. I wouldn’t have touched Magna Carta if not for Persona. I would have missed out on Rogue Galaxy. Wouldn’t have given Shining Force EXA a second thought. If I had never played Persona 3, I would have never played 4 or 5, and that sh*t seems so bewildering to me because those games are some of my all-time favorites. In fact, for a long while, Persona 5 was my favorite of these games. I wrote a whole thing about, about how, while I loved 3, 5 was a close second. It had legitimately closed that gap after Royal dropped but then Persona 3 Reload was announced. Guess who pulled ahead once again.

I got Reload day one and immediately dove into to. It felt familiar, yet, new. It definitely got all the bells and whistles that made Persona 5 so enjoyable but was still definitely Persona 3. I got my copy for the PS4 so, while the presentation is loads better than the original, and it shows, it’s comparable to Persona 5. Having that “side-by-side” experience just solidifies that P3 IS my favorite Persona title and one of my all-time favorite games, period. I was a little bummed Burn My Dread wasn’t the opening song but Full Moon Full ain’t too shabby on its own. More than that, the quality of life changes are amazing. It’s the little things like the Online Saves or the fact you don't get fatigued in Tartarus anymore. I love how the original character designs got a remix, bringing them closer in line with that Persona 5 aesthetic, and boy do they steal from that P5 aesthetic let me tell you! The thing is, though, it feels full circle to me. I remember, way back when I was playing P5 (shout out to Tae Takemi, best girl in the entire game), that P5 feels like the spiritual successor to P3 in every way P4 is not. Don’t get me wrong, P4 is a classic, but it feels out of place in the trio, almost disconnected. Also, I remember hating Teddy. It’s like, did P3 influence P5, only to have that sh*t bleed back into Reload? I don’t know, and I don’t really care. I get to play Persona 3, on my PS4, with the look of Persona 5. I cannot stress how dope that is. Also, Satanael is DLC. You KNOW I bought due and have been decimating the early game! Thanatos is my second favorite Persona, always, Alice is the first (especially after I customize her), but Ren’s ultimate Persona is a strong third. Like, laughably so. There’s just something about summoning a Demon God that feels so…powerful. Also, you shoot God in the face. How can you not love that?

I’m ten hours into Reload and it is everything I ever dreamed a full-on Persona 3 remake should be. This isn’t that bait and switch FFVII pulled with Remake. No, for all intents and purposes, this IS Persona 3 but with modern game play and graphics. It’s like I’m popping ion the game for the very first time, damn near twenty years later. The Protagonist is as stoic as ever and the city of Tatsumi Port Island is alive with a vibrancy only the power of PS4 could bring. Building this game on the Unreal engine was a stroke of genius because the models are crisp, detailed, and fluid. There are so many little particle effects that make everything pop. The biggest upgrade is the UI. The thing is, I’m old as f*ck. I’ve been gaming since the old NES days. I’ve seen the evolution of video game and, for me, they peaked way back in the PS3 era. When P3 originally came out, I had no problem with how the title was presented. It got a little flashier with P3P and Persona 4 added their own flair, but Persona 5 really went in on the showmanship. P3R gets a bit of that and it goes a very long way to captivating the player. I thought modern hardware would affect the charm of these OG designs, but it doesn’t. It actually enhances them considerably. It’s subtle, but the bodies are longer, the eyes are smaller, and the overall proportions feel more realistic. I kind of love it. I also love the redesigns, so far. I mean, Mitsuru is gorgeous and I adore the new-ish Elizabeth model, but I’m holding judgment until the very end when I get to see Nyx again. And definitely get my ass throttled by her. Now, admittedly, not all that shimmers is gold. The fact that the Answer, the additional part of FES, isn’t included in what is a very obvious FES remake, kind of bones. I hear that it will be DLC down the line and that sucks. I like Metis. Her design was dope. I’m also not that huge a fan of Thanatos’ first reveal being made with in-game models. The visceral nature of that genesis feels lost when not in animation. It’s good in its own way but, goddamn, did that sh*t hit different way back when. These are, of course, superficial gripes because I am having the time of my life with this game! And it’s only the first play through. That New Game is about to slap crazy hard! I cannot wait to run it back with my heavy hitters on deck. Satanael be damned, getting Thanatos and my laughably OP Alice in the mix is going to be the best!

Color Timer

We seem to be in a bit of a Kaiju renaissance. Goji x Monkee is just over the horizon, much to my chagrin, but the Monarch show was exquisite and Goji Minus One is out here quietly being the best Godzilla content since the very first entry. Beyond that, Kaiju no. Eight is poised to be something special and, considering how slim the pickings anime has been for the past season or two, i am absolutely salivating for that sh*t. Thoroughly expect a big ass Kaiju boom in the genre any minute, kind of like how we've had nothing but Isekai after SAO got unduly popular. Honestly, i want that more than anything. I love Kaiju sh*t almost as much as i love Cyberpunk content. Godzilla is one of the three pillars of my childhood. While my assumption of a great Kaiju boom might be presumptive, there are hints of that sh*t happening. I've come across a few manga that feel very "proto-Kaiju" in nature.

Semelparous feels like that but it's a bit more adult than my usual recommendations. Worth a read, sure, but chock full of titt*es so, you know, be prepared if you venture in that direction. Otome Kaijuu Caramelize is another solid entry that i enjoy reading. it's a cute, slice of life, with dope ass Kaiju battles and an interesting transformation situation. One of the greatest regrets i have is the fact Ziga was canceled before it even had the opportunity to get going. That sh*t had exceptional art, a rather compelling Shonen story, and a fantastic world to explore. It, apparently, didn't connect with audiences at the time, sh9t was released at the height of the Isekai craze, and was unceremoniously canceled It was kind of Kaiju no. Eight before Kaiju no. Eight. So much potential, lost to the ages, because it was about five years too early. Sh*t sucks, man. It's one of those great "What Ifs", like Psyren. I mourn Ziga, for sure, but that's not what this post is about. No, this one is a celebration.

I wanted to bring a fledgling narrative to everyone's attention, a Kaiju story that is ramping up into something special, 70 Meter Girl! I stumbled across this one by accident. It was during one of my manic, middle of the night, weekend search binges, for something new. I remember coming across that Cursificer manga and Girl around the same time and, while the latter had more chapters, the former was a more compelling read to me. Obviously, it hit all of buttons. Great action, beautiful art, a world that was ever expansion, and an attention to detail that you only see in the most auteur of manga. It definitely feels like a throwback to the Nineties type of storytelling, an homage to things like Escaflowne, Ultraman: Towards the Future, and EVA. It follows the misadventures of Hinako Kurobe, as she maneuvers her daily, civilian life, while balancing her job as Nanamaru, the first line of Kaiju defense and the titular Seventy Meter Girl.

I mentioned the throwback nature of this book before, but a lot of that has to do with the art. It's almost like how SSSS.Gridman captured that weirdly stiff, jerky, Tokusatsu type of movement, the sheer scale and actual weight of it, in anime, but Girl does it on the page. It's hard to articulate but, seeing those action panels and the dynamic nature of their flow, really hammers home that Iwata Nawoya really understands the genre. His Kaiju design is top tier, crazy detailed, and hearkens back to those Seventies classics. The one in the first chapter smacks of Toho's Baragon or Tsubaraya's Gomora. It was odd seeing this still image and knowing exactly how it moved, how methodical and destructive the thing was. More than that, the art, itself, felt like a throwback to the stuff i grew up with. I'm saying it was giving me flashbacks to old school Shirow and Kishiro. It has this weirdly nostalgic style, the would fit right into that transitional period between the Eighties and Nineties. I kind of love it. That, alone, keeps me coming back but the narrative is absolutely compelling. The narrative, itself, is only five chapters deep, but I'd be lying if i said it was just packed with detail. You learn a lot about hat world in those scant entries but it's more than enough to keep you coming back for more. Nawoya is also the author of this series so you know that this book is all him. he has a plan and, as long as the thing gets enough eyes on it, he'll be bale to execute beautifully.

Seventy Meter girl is wonderful. It's a little young in the tooth and can easily go sideways as the story develops, but i trust Nawoya. The strength of his art, alone, is worth a gander but it's not like he sucks at storytelling. Kaze no Stra made it to forty-three chapters and saw a decent amount of success. I've never read it, myself, but i might pick up based on Girl's first few chapters. You have to keep in mind, not everyo0ne finds their stride right out of the gate. Even Kubo kind of flopped with Zombie Powder so Girl might be Nawoya's big hit. It certainly has all the trappings for one. We'll see where this thing goes, especially with Kaiju no. Eight poised to absolutely ruin the industry in the way Naruto and FMA did back in the day. I'm sure there'll be a rush for content like this, probably under the guise of the "Superhero" genre but make no mistake: This sh*t is Kaiju at it's finest. Or maybe it's all just wishful thinking on my part. Maybe i want Girl to succeed because the wound of Ziga's failure is still weeping from my heart. Oh, what could have been...